What it means to have a Southern Wedding

Most Southern girls, I included, emerged from the womb with strong opinions on organza versus tulle, alencon lace versus beading, ball gown versus fit and flare, peonies versus roses and baby's breath (gag me...) versus lavender limonium. It's just in a Southern girl's DNA to have strong opinions on anything wedding related. Here are my thoughts on the situation.

1. Do not have a "themed" wedding.

Now I never realized that this was actually a problem until the TV show "Four Weddings" came out. Y'all, those Yankee girls are all about having themed weddings. If I see one more wedding that is "Old Hollywood", "Hawaiian Luau", "Forth of July Barbecue", or "Winter Wonderland" themed, I'll gag on my Oreos (I have a small addiction). Ladies, your wedding's only theme should be "wedding themed". Period. End of Story. 

Now, let me be clear, every bride should choose her colors and decorations and flowers according to her own taste and each bride should pull from the variety of influences that she sees her big day in. Weddings vary according to tastes and likes and dislikes. By all means, pull elements from time periods or events that you find inspirational. But save the themes for children's birthday parties, and sweet sixteens. 

And while i'm at it.... your wedding should scream TIMELESS, not DATED in ten years.  Please, I know there are all sorts of crazy trends right now, but to me, classic just lasts.  Are black tuxes with black bow ties going out of style anytime soon?  Nope, probably not.  Is that interesting getup with funky exposed socks, matching ties and suspenders gonna be in style in ten years??   Probably NOT.  Come on ladies, if you aren't normally someone with 'funky' style, don't pull out the funk for your wedding day.  There's no reason to reinvent the wheel.  Just take a classic timeless idea and give it your own little twist!

2. Avoid the cash bar.

Weddings are ridiculously expensive. And not all of us can afford to provide a full bar at the reception. But here's my advice. Don't have a cash bar. Its just tacky to ask your guests to pay for drinks. Skip the alcohol all together if you think your guests wouldn't mind. If your guests would prefer to have alcohol, limit the menu to only beer and wine, which are less expensive and easier to serve than liquor drinks. Or you have another option. Have two signature drinks (sangria, gin and lemonade, margaritas, etc.) - one of the bride's favorites and one of the groom's. You can mix large quantities of them in pretty, large glass decanters and guests can help themselves. Limiting the liquor options is a good way to limit your spending on alcohol. You won't go broke and your guests can still get loosened up enough to Macarena on the dance floor! 

3. You are not a princess.

Unless you were born Catherine Elizabeth Middleton, you are not a princess. You are not Cinderella. So stop limiting yourself to only ball gowns big enough to house a family of four. Choose what looks best for your body, not what you think Snow White would have worn when she tied the knot with Prince Charming. If a ball gown looks great on you, go for it. If a dropped waist is more flattering, do that instead. Look like your best version of yourself on your wedding day, not a knock off version of Sleeping Beauty. And for heaven's sake DO NOT WEAR A TIARA. I will have the unrelenting urge to slap it off your head.  You have been forewarned.

4. Unity candles and unity sand annoy me
I think this is a modern fad... at least I certainly hope so. I just don't understand the point. I think saying "to have and to hold until death do us part" ties you to your husband sufficiently for eternity more than mixing two viles of dirt together. Just my humble opinion. And besides, chances are in the reality of the situation your two families probably aren't BFF's so pretending your families are dirt and mixing them together in one jar is just supremely bizarre.

5. Soloists during your ceremony -- JUST NO.
 Look y'all,  I know your sorority sister Mary Margaret sang in the university talent show and y'all all got drunk and bought votes from the judges with your daddy's money so she would win because her boyfriend had just dumped her and her confidence was lower than low, but note for you... SHE CAN'T SING.   I don't know if you were just too drunk to remember, but she never can quite hit those high notes.  Please, please.... for the love of all things Holy, do NOT bring her into the church and have her sing Ave Maria in front of your 400+ wedding guests.   Besides, have you ever read a translation of the lyrics to Ave Maria?  It is NOT a wedding song!  And even worse, no one wants to hear your mediocre soloist sing Shania Twain's From This Moment, or some other cheesey song.  Puhlease....  If you want music as part of your ceremony, as most people do, please consider a harp player or pianist like a sane human being.

More later!

-Ada Grey and Caroline Grace
PS: Use burlap and Mason jars sparingly. Its becoming a little over done. A little of that goes a long way. 

I just don't understand...

I live in an area with a lot of transplants (transplant- n. Yankee's who moved South) and inevitably I've had to work with and for them. I won't lie to you- I wasn't too thrilled about it. But, it has been a learning experience. So now I will share with you what I learned so you won't have to learn the same way I did.

1. I don't like king sized beds.
I've had to try to decorate around them and they are just too obtrusive. But, my disdain for king sized beds came after a house sitting gig I got roped into. As I lay on the right side of the bed trying may hardest to fall asleep, I noticed that there was about 3 acres of bed on my left. Its just too much. Even if there had been someone else (or a family of 4) in the bed with me, there still would have been too much bed left. I'm perfectly fine with a queen sized. Just my opinion.

2. I can't live in a subdivision.
Subdivisions have cropped up all over the South. And the houses are beautiful. But I cannot live so close to someone that they can look right into my bedroom window from their living room. I mean, I'm not doing anything scandalous inside my house, but that doesn't mean I want the whole neighborhood to be able sit back and watch my comings and goings like the next season of American Idol. I just need some privacy.

3. Some people treat their dogs better than they treat their kids.
So I see a woman I know (transplant) walking her dog, Gigi. Gigi is no ordinary dog. She is a "designer dog"- a mutt genetically modified to be fluffier, prissier and have a severe under bite.... Now, on Gigi's morning walk she has a bow in a little tuft of hair between her ears, a pink rhinestone collar, and a pink glittered tutu. From the looks of this scene, one would think that this woman had no children to spoil so she babied her dog. Nope. She has a 14 year old son. As I stopped to chat with this woman I asked her how her son was. Her response was "Oh fine I suppose. He's in a boarding school in Connecticut. I think he'll be home for Christmas. I call him about once a month. and he always seems to be just fine! But I better run, Gigi has a pedicure and haircut appointment. Great to see you!".... The kid will be home for Christmas? It was MAY!

4. Yankee's eat entirely too much hummus.
I love hummus. I always have a container of it in my fridge. But y'all, I kid you not. I was babysitting for a transplant family and it was time for me to fix the girls some supper so I went to the fridge and this is what I found:
six flavors of hummus
some almond milk
some olives
some arugula lettuce
a box of alfalfa sprouts
some Gruyere cheese

What in the sam hill was I supposed to fix these children for supper? I couldn't even make them a tomato sandwich. Do you really think a 5 year old and a 3 year old are going to eat an arugula and sprout salad and some hummus? Is it really necessary to have SIX flavors of hummus?
Long story short, I found a box of Easy-Mac in the bottom of the pantry. Bon appetite, girls!

5. How can you live in a multi-million dollar house but own NO fine china or antiques
I don't know about y'all but if I had the means to build a multi-million dollar abode, the first thing I'd do is display my fine china in an antique china cabinet. I'd be single handedly keeping the antique shops and auctions in business. Apparently this mentality is not universal though. I've seen MANY nouveau riche houses that had NO antique furniture and absolutely NO china- just some Pier 1 dishes. WHY??

6. The color burgundy will NOT go in my house.
In the same homes that have no china or antiques are inevitably decorated in the color burgundy... Why has this trend from 1998 continued? WHY? I want answers! I didn't like it then and I sure don't like it now. I think the mentality of burgundy is that it looks expensive. I DOESN'T. It only looks outdated. Bless their hearts, they just didn't know any better. Here's my tip, pic a good neutral for your walls (a light grey, a good white, a pale beige). Then, incorporate color in with your accessories. Avoid deep, dark colors that will add to much visual weight to the room. Keep it clean, light, and simple. NO BURGUNDY!

To all our transplant followers, we love you. We're glad you are here. But please, adapt to Southern life. You are here now, its time to embrace the Southern way of life and get rid of these nasty habits. Next step: work on those hideous accents.

- Ada Grey

Caroline's Ideas for a Perfect Night In: Light a Candle and Forget About It... (um... not literally though. I'd hate for your house to catch fire.)

      Ever have one of those days where you just come home and want to punch your pillow till the down feathers fly out?  Yep, I have those days too!  There's not much more that can cure my mood than lighting a candle, fixing a cocktail and flipping open the latest issue of Southern Living or Garden and Gun. On one especially stressful occasion, I guess I had one cocktail too many.  And that is precisely when DISASTER OCCURED.  It went a little something like this.

      I had been in my room with a Waterford glass filled to the brim.  I was reading my latest issue of Southern Living and I was inspired to concoct some variation of fettuccine alfredo for dinner.  It was already 6 o'clock, so I'd have to hurry.  I scurried off to the kitchen, drink in hand, and spent the next hour fixing dinner.  It was a dash of this and a pinch of that... It turned out fabulously, but just like every other accidental recipe I come up with, I never write the method to my madness down, so recreating it is nearly impossible.  You'd think  I would learn!!!  Anyway... I was halfway through my third drink and my dinner when I smelled something burning.   My first instinct was to look at the stove.  Nope, stove looked fine.  But good Lord, where was that smell coming from!? I looked around the dining and living room. Nope, nothing there either.  THE BEDROOM.  ---- OH.MY.GOD. ----

    Somehow, I had forgotten about the candle I had left burning on my bedside table.  I sprint down the hall to find that my candle had apparently sparked and caught the floral arrangement on my bedside table on fire.  Not just a little fire, the flowers were in FLAMES.  A BIG ball of red and orange FLAMES.   What in the hell am I going to do?!?   I picked up a book from my bedside table and started beating the flames out of the flowers.  While extinguishing the flames, black ashes are literally snowing all over my room as I am beating the tar out of the flowers.  Just when you think it can't get much worse, the book catches fire, right there IN MY HANDS.   SHIT.

     What's my next plan you ask?  I smothered the flames out with a towel, and wept as I realized that  I had burned the tips of my index and middle finger on my right hand, but far worse, the book I had just beat the flames to death with was my hardback copy of The Help. I spent the next half hour cleaning ashes from every surface on that side of my bedroom, and wiping tears away as I mourned the loss of a good book.   My night was further ruined when I realized that a multitude of black ashes were now embedded in the ivory white candle wax and I was about to have to throw away a brand new candle that I paid $20 for.  ---SIGH---    I have since recovered, and my addiction to candles has not changed much, except that I am a little more cautious now. 

I know most girls love a good candle, so here are some that I am currently obsessed with. 

 Shelley Kyle---   This woman knows how to do scents!  Be warned however, these aren't for those with milder tastes.  My personal favorites are McClendon and Tiramani.  According to the Shelley Kyle website, McClendon contains notes of grapefruit, bergamot, key lime, black currant absolute, cut grass, mandarin leaf, and dew fresh basil, while Tiramani contains notes of blood orange, Madonna lilly, white nectarine, cashmere musk, and night blooming jasmine. Purchase Here

Tyler Candles---  These have been a longtime favorite.  I absolutely adore Diva and High Maintenance.  According to the Tyler Candle Company, High Maintenance is their #1 seller. (I knew I had good taste!)  Learn More About Tyler Candles Here

Rewined---  Okay, so admittedly I am not a huge wine drinker, but these wine scented candles, hand poured in repurposed wine bottles hit the spot for me!  My absolute favorite is the Riesling, and I am DYING to find the seasonal Sangria.  I can only imagine that it is amazing as well.  Another awesome scent is the Mimosa, but it is incredibly sweet!  Shop Rewined Candles Here

I hope you found this post amusing and informative! Learn from my mistakes! :)

- Caroline

(Note to reader: Caroline Grace Mckenlie is hereby not responsible for any fire that occurs from any candle she recommends.  I am also not paid by any company to recommend their products.  These are just my honest to goodness opinions!)

Ada Grey's Essentials for a Night In

Whether you are have a girls night or you're just taking some me time after a long day, here is my idea of a perfect night in.

1. Downton Abbey
If you can't be a Southern lady, the next best thing is British nobility. When I grow up, I want to be Lady Mary. She's so sassy, but there is something about her that is sincere. I think she and I are kindred spirits. And an added bonus is that the Dowager Countess is Caro from Ya-Ya! Is there anything better?

2. An Essie manicure
In the film version of Gone With the Wind Scarlett's younger sister said "you can always tell a lady by her hands." Well it just so happens that Caroline's and my great-grandmother, a true lady if there ever was one, said the same thing. I personally like delicate, subtle colors like this one- "Ballet Slippers" by Essie. (Also it lasts about 5 days without chipping).

 3. A good facial
You know in those hokey brat pack 80's movies where girls always had sleep overs? Well they all at some point in the movie put on a green mud facial. So to keep up tradition, I've been known to do the same. I personally love this one.

4. CHOCOLATE, dark chocolate
KitKats are my favorite candy bar of all time and now that they have made them in dark chocolate, I'm in hog heaven.

4. A little jolt
As y'all know, I'm a self proclaimed coffee addict. And dark chocolate is the best chocolate. I can eat these bad boys like peanuts. Soooo yummy.
*Disclaimer: At any given moment, I'm as buzzed on caffeine as the Energizer bunny so these don't bother me, even at midnight. But, if you are sensitive to caffeine, these may not be the best idea late at night.

5. A good cup of tea
Next to coffee, hot tea is my second addiction. Twining's Lady Grey (GREAT NAME!!) is my favorite, but all of these favors are delicious! There is something so timeless about a good cup of tea. Brew up a hot cup and sip along with the characters of Downton.

I hope this inspires you darlings to sit back, relax and enjoy an evening to yourself after a long day.

-Ada Grey

The best TV episode of all time

Fair warning, I'm obsessed with the show Designing Women. Nothing would make me happier than if it can back on the air. But, sadly, that won't be happening. However, I can share with all of you darling my favorite episode of all time. I love everything about this episode, especially the last part where Julia is reading the letter Dash has left. Can I get one of those dresses pleaseeee?? In all honesty, if I had one, I'd never take it off. I'd probably wear it to the grocery store and to weed my zinnias in. What happened to fashion? But that's a post for another day. In the mean time, go fix yourself a big glass of sweet tea, grab a snack and settle in for some TV magic. Enjoy!

 "Dash Goff, the Writer"- Designing Women

- Ada Grey