I live in an area with a lot of transplants (transplant- n. Yankee's who moved South) and inevitably I've had to work with and for them. I won't lie to you- I wasn't too thrilled about it. But, it has been a learning experience. So now I will share with you what I learned so you won't have to learn the same way I did.
1. I don't like king sized beds.
I've had to try to decorate around them and they are just too obtrusive. But, my disdain for king sized beds came after a house sitting gig I got roped into. As I lay on the right side of the bed trying may hardest to fall asleep, I noticed that there was about 3 acres of bed on my left. Its just too much. Even if there had been someone else (or a family of 4) in the bed with me, there still would have been too much bed left. I'm perfectly fine with a queen sized. Just my opinion.
2. I can't live in a subdivision.
Subdivisions have cropped up all over the South. And the houses are beautiful. But I cannot live so close to someone that they can look right into my bedroom window from their living room. I mean, I'm not doing anything scandalous inside my house, but that doesn't mean I want the whole neighborhood to be able sit back and watch my comings and goings like the next season of American Idol. I just need some privacy.
3. Some people treat their dogs better than they treat their kids.
So I see a woman I know (transplant) walking her dog, Gigi. Gigi is no ordinary dog. She is a "designer dog"- a mutt genetically modified to be fluffier, prissier and have a severe under bite.... Now, on Gigi's morning walk she has a bow in a little tuft of hair between her ears, a pink rhinestone collar, and a pink glittered tutu. From the looks of this scene, one would think that this woman had no children to spoil so she babied her dog. Nope. She has a 14 year old son. As I stopped to chat with this woman I asked her how her son was. Her response was "Oh fine I suppose. He's in a boarding school in Connecticut. I think he'll be home for Christmas. I call him about once a month. and he always seems to be just fine! But I better run, Gigi has a pedicure and haircut appointment. Great to see you!".... The kid will be home for Christmas? It was MAY!
4. Yankee's eat entirely too much hummus.
I love hummus. I always have a container of it in my fridge. But y'all, I kid you not. I was babysitting for a transplant family and it was time for me to fix the girls some supper so I went to the fridge and this is what I found:
six flavors of hummus
some almond milk
some olives
some arugula lettuce
a box of alfalfa sprouts
some Gruyere cheese
What in the sam hill was I supposed to fix these children for supper? I couldn't even make them a tomato sandwich. Do you really think a 5 year old and a 3 year old are going to eat an arugula and sprout salad and some hummus? Is it really necessary to have SIX flavors of hummus?
Long story short, I found a box of Easy-Mac in the bottom of the pantry. Bon appetite, girls!
5. How can you live in a multi-million dollar house but own NO fine china or antiques
I don't know about y'all but if I had the means to build a multi-million dollar abode, the first thing I'd do is display my fine china in an antique china cabinet. I'd be single handedly keeping the antique shops and auctions in business. Apparently this mentality is not universal though. I've seen MANY nouveau riche houses that had NO antique furniture and absolutely NO china- just some Pier 1 dishes. WHY??
6. The color burgundy will NOT go in my house.
In the same homes that have no china or antiques are inevitably decorated in the color burgundy... Why has this trend from 1998 continued? WHY? I want answers! I didn't like it then and I sure don't like it now. I think the mentality of burgundy is that it looks expensive. I DOESN'T. It only looks outdated. Bless their hearts, they just didn't know any better. Here's my tip, pic a good neutral for your walls (a light grey, a good white, a pale beige). Then, incorporate color in with your accessories. Avoid deep, dark colors that will add to much visual weight to the room. Keep it clean, light, and simple. NO BURGUNDY!
To all our transplant followers, we love you. We're glad you are here. But please, adapt to Southern life. You are here now, its time to embrace the Southern way of life and get rid of these nasty habits. Next step: work on those hideous accents.
- Ada Grey
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